Salaam alaikum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh everyone, insh'Allah you're all in the best of health and the highest of iman! Ever since I came to Morocco, I've had an increasingly serious problem. What exactly is that problem, you might ask? It's called being stuffed full of [delicious!] food. Now, how could this ever be considered a problem? Shouldn't I just be thankful that I have enough food to eat while so many others in the world don't have enough to even eat one meal a day? Alhamdolillah, I am very grateful that a shortage of food has never been a problem in my life. I'm extremely blessed that I have always been able to eat when I'm hungry (and even when I'm just craving a certain flavor...yes, guilty as charged!) Having said that, please don't take this post in the wrong way. In Moroccan culture, and correct me if I'm wrong, in Arab culture in general, when you are a guest in somebody's home, it is expected that you will be fed...WELL-fed. I lived with my in-laws up until the beginning of this month, and my husband and I still continue to visit quite often (we've been staying with them for the past two weeks and going back to our appartment for the weekend because of my husband's work), and alhamdolillah wa mash'Allah, whenever I'm staying with my in-laws I almost never feel hungry. The problem is...even though I've been here since November...I haven't quite learned how to properly state that I'm full, and I've had enough. In American culture, when someone asks you if you've had enough to eat, and you say "yes, I'm full," they usually will not ask you again, and will take it to mean that you're full. However, in Moroccan culture, when someone notices that you've ceased eating, they will say "kool!" or "kooli!" which means "eat!"...even if you state that you've had enough. If you truly no longer wish to eat, you must state several times "saafi, alhamdolillah" "I've had enough, alhamdolillah" because they will keep insisting that you continue eating. It took me a while to understand this, but alhamodlillah, I'm finally catching on :P I asked my MIL about this, and she said that it's because in Moroccan culture, keeping people well-fed and insisting that they eat is a way to say that they love you and care about you, and they want to make sure that you're comfortable, and that you're not hungry. Whenever you are visiting someone, even if it's only for a few hours, it is expected that you will eat, even if it's just bread with cheese/butter/olive oil, and you will ALWAYS drink tea. It's also sort of an unwritten rule that if you're offered something to eat when you are visiting, you eat it, even if you're not particularly hungry, as it would be impolite to refuse. It can be a bit difficult not to over-eat sometimes, because a good host will offer you more food than you can possibly finish, and they will be quite insitant that you eat (again, this is not because they're trying to be malicious, it's quite the opposite, it's done out of love). So, needless to say, I have gained a decent ammount of weight since I got here. The problem is, I DO NOT WANT TO PUT ON ANY MORE WEIGHT, as this will cause me to start approaching the "overweight" category. I do NOT want to go there. It's not good that I almost never feel hungry...it's good to feel hungry sometimes, especially right before you go to sleep (not REALLY hungry...but what I like to call "comfortably hungry"...as in you're stomach isn't eating itself, but you could comfortably eat a small meal). Sometimes, I have trouble getting to sleep at night because my stomach feels like it's going to burst from being so full, astighfirallah. I admit that it is partially my fault...food and I have always had a complicated relationship...I kind of feel guilty if I don't finish everything that is offered to me, because I don't like to waste food. I also feel like I'm hurting my husband's grandmother's feelings if I don't eat (even if I'm not hungry), although I'm sure she understands; it's just me being weird. I also don't make the effort to actually do much exercise (in my defense I am basically in the house all day...but I will go out with my MIL if I'm staying with her, even if she's just going to buy vegetables, just so that I get a chance to walk and get some fresh air). So, any suggestions for what I should do? Has anyone else ever had this problem? I'd really appreciate any advice y'all could give me!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
It's Okay, You Can Stop Feeding Me Now...
Salaam alaikum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh everyone, insh'Allah you're all in the best of health and the highest of iman! Ever since I came to Morocco, I've had an increasingly serious problem. What exactly is that problem, you might ask? It's called being stuffed full of [delicious!] food. Now, how could this ever be considered a problem? Shouldn't I just be thankful that I have enough food to eat while so many others in the world don't have enough to even eat one meal a day? Alhamdolillah, I am very grateful that a shortage of food has never been a problem in my life. I'm extremely blessed that I have always been able to eat when I'm hungry (and even when I'm just craving a certain flavor...yes, guilty as charged!) Having said that, please don't take this post in the wrong way. In Moroccan culture, and correct me if I'm wrong, in Arab culture in general, when you are a guest in somebody's home, it is expected that you will be fed...WELL-fed. I lived with my in-laws up until the beginning of this month, and my husband and I still continue to visit quite often (we've been staying with them for the past two weeks and going back to our appartment for the weekend because of my husband's work), and alhamdolillah wa mash'Allah, whenever I'm staying with my in-laws I almost never feel hungry. The problem is...even though I've been here since November...I haven't quite learned how to properly state that I'm full, and I've had enough. In American culture, when someone asks you if you've had enough to eat, and you say "yes, I'm full," they usually will not ask you again, and will take it to mean that you're full. However, in Moroccan culture, when someone notices that you've ceased eating, they will say "kool!" or "kooli!" which means "eat!"...even if you state that you've had enough. If you truly no longer wish to eat, you must state several times "saafi, alhamdolillah" "I've had enough, alhamdolillah" because they will keep insisting that you continue eating. It took me a while to understand this, but alhamodlillah, I'm finally catching on :P I asked my MIL about this, and she said that it's because in Moroccan culture, keeping people well-fed and insisting that they eat is a way to say that they love you and care about you, and they want to make sure that you're comfortable, and that you're not hungry. Whenever you are visiting someone, even if it's only for a few hours, it is expected that you will eat, even if it's just bread with cheese/butter/olive oil, and you will ALWAYS drink tea. It's also sort of an unwritten rule that if you're offered something to eat when you are visiting, you eat it, even if you're not particularly hungry, as it would be impolite to refuse. It can be a bit difficult not to over-eat sometimes, because a good host will offer you more food than you can possibly finish, and they will be quite insitant that you eat (again, this is not because they're trying to be malicious, it's quite the opposite, it's done out of love). So, needless to say, I have gained a decent ammount of weight since I got here. The problem is, I DO NOT WANT TO PUT ON ANY MORE WEIGHT, as this will cause me to start approaching the "overweight" category. I do NOT want to go there. It's not good that I almost never feel hungry...it's good to feel hungry sometimes, especially right before you go to sleep (not REALLY hungry...but what I like to call "comfortably hungry"...as in you're stomach isn't eating itself, but you could comfortably eat a small meal). Sometimes, I have trouble getting to sleep at night because my stomach feels like it's going to burst from being so full, astighfirallah. I admit that it is partially my fault...food and I have always had a complicated relationship...I kind of feel guilty if I don't finish everything that is offered to me, because I don't like to waste food. I also feel like I'm hurting my husband's grandmother's feelings if I don't eat (even if I'm not hungry), although I'm sure she understands; it's just me being weird. I also don't make the effort to actually do much exercise (in my defense I am basically in the house all day...but I will go out with my MIL if I'm staying with her, even if she's just going to buy vegetables, just so that I get a chance to walk and get some fresh air). So, any suggestions for what I should do? Has anyone else ever had this problem? I'd really appreciate any advice y'all could give me!
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Salaam alaikum
ReplyDeleteHmm...Maybe when you are offered food you can say "Yes, but only a little. I'm watching my weight". It's still being polite, I think. And as another woman, I'm sure his mother would understand hehe
@Amal
ReplyDeletewa alaikum salaam! Jazak Allah khair for your advice...I've tried doing this for the past couple of days, and alhamdolillah it's really helped :D I no longer feel like a stuffed whale, and insh'Allah I will start dropping some of the excess weight I've gained soon ^_^
i love hospitable people:)it hurts to deny good food that’s being offered! Maybe wait before you have something to eat till you go out so you're hungrier. I drink a lot of water and eat vegetables, that helps me lose weight. Something about too much meat protein slows down the metabolism.
ReplyDelete@JuliaLui
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tips! The Moroccan diet is very bread-heavy (bread is eaten at EVERY meal), so I have been trying to cut out eating so much bread and meat, an focus instead on vegetables. You also make a good point about water...I definitely don't drink enough (this has been an ongoing problem even before I came here). I'm back at my appartment this week, so I can now cook for myself (and exercise without anybody staring at me like I'm a complete lunatic) which is nice. Insh'Allah I'll start getting in better shape!
:D .. i like the hamster picture. as far as i know about the Moroccan people, they love to drink a lot of tea with a bunch of "green mint" in it, this would help you a lot in losing weight, if you do not like to drink much of tea, you can make mint drink lone and add some sugar to it for the good taste and drink it from time to time,this will make you lose wight, also you can try to eat one ball of spinach daily with your regular food, it will prevent your body from building more fat.
ReplyDeleteomg ! did i just say spinach !?! XD
ReplyDeleteno,i'm sorry it's just my English! i meant one ball of cabbage :D.Sorry.
i know exactly like you said. everyday i hear 'kooli kooli.' haha i had lunch 2 times today. once with my husband and his father. and then after his mother returned from hammam, i ate again, she pleaded with me 'kooli! kooli, hiba, kooli! (they know me as hiba) :) finally i had to say 'baraka!!' hahaha enough!
ReplyDeletei love bread!! and rice!!
ReplyDeleteWow! Jazak Allah khair for all of the advice you guys ^_^
ReplyDelete@ tedua: Lol, yes, the tea here. I pretty much live off of it. I like making it for myself, because everyone else puts WAY too much sugar in it! I feel like, if made properly, it does aid in weightloss. However the problem is, as previously stated, when there's WAY too much sugar put in it, like the way my in-laws usually make it, it's NOT healthy to drink too much...it will actually make you GAIN weight (because of the calories from the sugar), and will put you on the fast track to diabetes. Also, I shall defintely send my hubby on a cabbage quest :) When you said spinach I got really excited because I love eating raw baby spinach in salads...it's a really good source of iron. I haven't been able to find it here yet though :( Maybe I'm just not looking hard enough...
@jessica: I wish they'd be a little less insistant upon eating meals...but as I said, it's just the way that people tell you they love you here, even though it's not the healthiest thing to do. If you say you're on a diet though...people do seem to respect that, even though they might insist that it's a silly idea and you don't need to diet lol. When I told my MIL that I want to watch my weight for health reasons, she told my husband's grandmother, who then went out of her way to fix me something separate (and less caloritic) than what everyone else was eating. Mash'Allah, I love my husband's family!
@JuliaLui: lol I used to be a HUGE fan of bread, but after eating so much, I really need a break! I got my husband to get me rice last night though...I cooked it today and mixed it with a can of tuna fish...yummm!
of course if it made properly,and that's what i meant actually.you can use moderate or even sugar free tea, but it's better if you mix it with green mint as Moroccan people do, the secret is with the mint, this will lose you weight. but you just reminded me with something and you have to keep it in mind,that is drinking tea after meals would drain you from useful elements that in your food and make elements useless to your body "like iron for instance ",so you need to choose the good time for tea break, personally i prefer tea on coffee,tea relaxes me and it has less caffeine than coffee. you can use green tea too, it's good for losing weight too. if you are looking for vegetables that is rich with "iron" then i recommend beside spinach, watercress and leek. just wash them well before eat. sorry if i sounded like a doctor !:D .
ReplyDeleteIf I'm visting someone, and I'm full, or just not hungry---I just say---no thank you- I'm full-or I'm not hungry. And if they get offended well that's too bad. Because I'm not going to suffer so people can feel good.
ReplyDelete